When I first started my blog I struggled to find a name. I finally settled on Misty Megaccino Moments. Megaccino was a nickname that friend gave me in Ukraine a long time ago. I feel called to share my journey so moments felt right, but the misty part came after reading the verse about how we see things hazy as through a glass. After taking a theology class I concluded that the more you get to know God the more you realize you don't know. More answers lead to more question and thus starts a lifetime of seeking.
I don't claim to have all the answers. In fact, I hope it comes across loud and clear that I am a seeker, not a teacher. If you have found something useful or touching in one of my blogs then that is because the Lord saw fit to use it. God's Spirit is the teacher, not me.
I started this blog for a few reasons: one, I wanted a record of things God has done because I have a poor memory. I knew I would need to go back and remind myself of His faithfulness. Two, I wanted my kids to have a chronicle of my life. Rather than an emotionally-charged diary that I wrote in when upset, I chose a public forum that helps me keep a more balanced perspective. And Lastly, I process by writing things out, so it is a therapeutic process.
During a conversation I had this morning, I bemoaned my tendency to cry. I especially hate crying in front of others. It seems I cry when attempting to speak about anything of importance; I hate confrontation, because people matter. I tear up in empathy when anyone else does. Waterworks should dissipate with maturity or time, right? I am still hoping, but this doesn't seem to be the case.
At eleven, emotions choked me as I tried to give my simple testimony at summer camp. In college speech class I read aloud a fictitious story and sobbed like it was true. I had to fight through tears to even finish the assignment because I had gotten too deep into my own story. Crazy! Talk about embarrassing! No doubt I looked like a crazy person which makes my logical brain mad. As a young adult, I co-lead a study about the book Lies Women Believe and balled my way through that. Vulnerability equals tears in my body at least. Ugh... For years I have struggled with this - I see it as a weakness. I feel like it is Satan's attempt to silence me. He likes to keep people isolated instead of openly sharing their faith journeys with each other. Shame and fear like the dark, so the best way to get rid of them is to expose it to the light! Others have tried to convince me that my tears are a strength?... yeah um OK, I still don't see it, but thanks!
Maybe, I am incapable of relating what the Lord had done or is revealing to me without leaking, but at least with writing, no one can see the tears. Haha! Mostly, it is annoying to have the meaning behind your tears be misread. I even cry when I am angry and that is extremely aggravating! Every opportunity of speaking has left me choking through tears. No matter how much I prepare or outline, my emotions of gratitude and freedom overwhelm me. I can think it dry-eyed in my head, but as soon as I break my silence tears flow. I will not be silenced though. If God compels me to speak despite my tears, I must.
So anyways... this morning as I was driving home, I had an epiphany. God spoke deeper meaning into the word MISTY. The moments I am sharing with you all are my misty moments. Here I lay out personal miracles and struggles, both of which have come with tears. Whether the meaning behind the tears is nostalgia, pain or gratitude matters not, God knows. All these years I thought the name originated from the hazy mist of our inability to understand an infinite God, but more deeply it is all the moments God collected my tears in a bottle.
I love that God has layers and he is showing me my own layers. I learn things and then learn them again at a whole-other-level. He takes us deeper in. He didn't take away the original meaning of Misty - that is still a huge revelation in my journey of how big God is! But, he added a deeper meaning of embracing who he created me to be - a woman chronicling her misty moments for whoever he brings to read them. May he be glorified by every tear and every moment!
I love that God has a sense of humor. He is so wise in timing. He knows when we are ready or in need of a revelation. He knows what we can handle and what we can't. I know that is why He enjoys blowing my mind with epiphanies that are personal and perfect in His timing. Haha - well played God!
Have you had an epiphany lately? Share it with me!
This is my current read. After finishing Jen's Of Mess and Moxie book I knew I had to read her previous one. I am only a few pages in but already her witty humor is a huge draw for me. I'll post at the end of the summer with a further review.
Below are two groups of titles. One group I have already read this summer and thoroughly enjoyed. Most are fiction because summer is for chilling, but several nonfiction found their way into my library bag. And boy am I glad they did!
The second group is my current random grab from the library and online, so we shall see how they work out.
From left to right:
My summer started with a tale about connection on a flight, continued through a historical piece on Jewish midwifery, followed by a spiritual visit at an Amish bed and breakfast and - oh how I enjoyed the diversity!
After that, I was introduced to two new-to-me authors. One had me shouting Amen! The other's work astounded me. The internal dialogue was authentic and the spiritual journey was alongside Frank Peretti or Ted Dekker. The last in this group was probably the most beneficial. I know a reread of this book is the only way for it to be fully absorbed, so this one I purchased!
I enjoyed my random library grabs so much! (I have three kids, so I will admit to judging covers and only reading the back of a few of these ahead of time!) I only ended up returning two to the library that I was unable to get into at this time - So yay for the random grab method!! I am a big believer in timing. Sometimes you attempt to read a highly recommended book and nothing resonates, but you read the same book in another season of life and you can't get enough! If it doesn't grab you, don't sweat it - maybe next time!
These are the titles that I random-grabbed this last library visit. The last two were offline. One is a new author to me. Another is second in a series. Two of these are actually the same author but different genres. ;) These should keep me busy for the next week or two, but then I will need some more suggestions.
Another handy tool of busy moms is putting things on hold to pick up at the desk! So,what is on your summer list? Comment below with your suggestions!!
I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I love testimonies of God's love and faithfulness. Being an empathetic person - they get me every time.
One of my favorite verses is Revelation 12:11.
They triumphed over him (Satan)
I love this verse because it reminds me that even a testimony as simple as mine can be used to defeat Satan. Let me clarify what I mean by simple. My story lacks a definitive before and after Christ moment. My story is more one of progression than sudden or radical transformation. There has been a lot of transformation and will continue to have a lot more, but it has been slow and steady, probably because the Lord knows the pace I can handle.
One of my earliest memories, around four, is praying with my mom to accept Jesus. I was raised in a missionary family so from an early age I witnessed countless miracles. We were taught to pray for and expect them. The God I grew to know was and still is magnificent! It amazes me how God cares about the tiniest, most intimate details of our life. Yes, even close parking spots!
My parents did deputation and by age seven my family was living in Zagreb, Croatia but at that time it was Yugoslavia. We simply did life as we learned the language. My parents modeled how to be a friend first before sharing the friend, Jesus.
When the war broke out we briefly stayed in Vienna. My brother had scarlet fever and I learned how God is our healer.
Returning home to Massachusetts we had a year to reconnect with family in the States, raise puppies and build forts in the yard by the parsonage. By opening the doors in hospitality, my parent's made the scripture about entertaining angels without knowing real to me. I know one of our guests was an angel for certain!
From there my family went to Moscow for a two-year assignment. My parent's had met on the Russian floor at Colorado University so this would be an easier assignment at least linguistically speaking. My siblings and I learned Russian by playing in the courtyard with other kids and watched my parents work really hard. They were always being called to translate for everyone involved in the team. After two years we came back to the United States to help family in need of healing. It took us all a while to adjust, but it was a break we all really needed.
At this point in my life, I started to ask harder questions. I wanted to understand God deeper. I was starting to see the difference between loving Jesus and what some people said you had to "do" for Jesus. I needed to know that God wasn't just there for my parents but if He was there for me.
When I brought my doubts to my parents they weren't disappointed or angry in any way, actually, they were quite the opposite. They encouraged me to take all my questions to God and seek out my answers. What I didn't really understand at the time was that they were also doing the same thing in their own lives. (Now, I see this should be a constant in the life of a Jesus follower!) They showed me where David cried out to God, how David wasn't always polite. Despite David's lack of respect or reverence, God didn't strike him down with lightning like he may have deserved.
God wants an authentic relationship with us. I was assured that He was big enough to handle anything I could throw at Him, so I started my own search into what God was really like. This is where I deepened my relationship, from God being my Savior to Him being my Lord.
After a season of helping family back home and some soul searching my parents signed on with a different organization who had us going back and forth to mainly Ukraine for the next few years. My heart fell more deeply in love with the Lord but also with anything Slavic. By the time I graduated high school my heart was set on moving to Ukraine and studying the language. Living in America and doing the 9-5 Monday through Friday desk job literally terrified me. I saved and saved so I could afford to do it. I'm not sure if I would have heard God if He had said no to my plan. I think the majority of my prayers were begging Him to allow me to have the life I wanted. I was also infatuated with a Ukrainian boy at the time, so that didn't help my clarity of thought either.
God is good. He gave me exactly what I asked for and it only took me about three months to determine that it wasn't everything I dreamed it would be. I loved aspects of my life in Kiev. My studies were going well. I had even found a job at another University, but my heart was incredibly homesick. I had always had my family bubble in the midst of a different culture, being completely alone in it was a lot harder. Plus, being on the outside of the US when September 11th happened was terrifying. To hear that America was closed and you are on the outside of it didn't feel good. I wanted to go home.
Once I returned to Massachusetts, I was finally able to see how I hadn't really allowed God much room to speak into the decision. Maybe I had to knock my Slavic idol off the shelf so God could have his spot back, but God was a total gentleman about it. I had been so blinded by what I thought was best instead of trusting Him to know what was best. My family moved to Florida, so I came too. I still find it funny that now I live in Palm Coast where there is a nice sized Russian community and I get to hear Russian every time I am out at Walmart.
So, I struggle with perfectionism. Nope - so not perfect, but wish I was! Sitting still and waiting is also so hard for me. It is tempting to get the plan and rush out and do it on my own. God has given me a good head on my shoulders, so I should use it, right? But not without Him. I am trying to learn how to let God have the lead.
God unexpectedly brought a great guy into my life who helps balance me. I think I do the same for him because God is smart like that. My husband speaks his mind and loves God with great passion. I know being empathetic makes healthy boundaries hard for me to set, so I am thankful for the love and protection of a strong spouse. Makes me feel safe, loved and heard! God is still working on my people-pleasing ways. I not so secretly love that being a counselor keeps my husband sensitive to following the advice that he gives out. Ten years and I still like the guy! Our three kids and I pray for protection over Daddy and discernment from the Holy Spirit for the people he sees. It is important to us that they know they can make a difference even at a young age!
I am grateful for being able to stay home, teach our kids, read lots of books and write some as well. Life is busy, but I know God is directing our days. I am beyond grateful for those in our lives who journey alongside us. We now get to fellowship as a family at Celebrate Recovery every Friday night as well. I love watching and hearing how God is setting his people free, so in obedience, I wanted to write out a bit of my story.
Feel free to share a bit of your walk with Jesus with me in the comments below. I would love to hear it!
A year ago my husband left the security of a job he had worked for over a decade and switched to full-time counseling. Our God is faithful and our trust in his provision has been tested and grown. I am happy to report that not only did God keep our lights on He also helped us pay down debt, pay off cars and increase our giving - so much more than we could have imagined this time last year!
Thank you to the churches that believed in healing this community so much they helped sponsor our kick-off year. Thank you to all the amazing individuals that rallied around us on this decision; your encouragement and support was and is priceless! From prayers, pep talks and living in loving community, we are richly blessed. Your love and prayers relieved a lot of the fear of the unknown.
We did have a few naysayers who were convinced this change was foolish, but God's plans often look like foolishness to those who aren't walking them. Each journey is unique! We hope they have seen God's power and glory through our testimony. The fact that Josh's schedule has been filled strictly by word-of-mouth is a testimony to how God brings His people for healing.
This year has been a faith journey for all of us.
In all honesty, there was some trepidation at first with graduating clients. When a client's hurt, habit or hangup is healed it is time to encourage them to fly. When a lull in clients came we would pray and choose to trust. It is easy to let fear creep in, but we continue to trust God to bring in the clients in His timing. All we can do was be faithful in prayer. The fear is less now a year in and we are learning to take advantage of the lulls for our own rest as a family.
As a wife, I can tell when my husband walks in what kind of day he has had. Counseling is not for the faint of heart. The stories he hears weigh heavy at times. I gratefully watch as the Lord balances his plate of sessions with wins to keep Josh's faith and smile strong. Josh's love for people has grown and his trust in the Spirit's guidance has strengthened. I do my best to cheer him when he is down or send a little one to chatter away the blues, but mostly I feel it is my job to pray for his spiritual protection. Being a light in dark places means needing God's direction and protection. Ask for it!
We all need someone to speak hope into our lives. Jesus loves you and doesn't want to leave you hurting. He has come to heal, restore and set you free. Come visit celebrate recovery on a Friday night and you will learn the steps of healing Jesus left for us in His sermon on the mount.
We have discussed with our children often what Daddy does and why. We try to invite our children into meaningful discussions about life and be examples of loving people like Jesus. They are so excited to be able to attend Celebrate Recovery with us. The Lord has provided some amazing childcare to love on our kids in the back and allow us to be together. We are aware of the fact that they observe way more than we realize, but we trust that having them in the midst will only show them how much God loves His people. As we continue to help those God brings across our path, we strive to remember our children are our first ministry.
We have received so many answers to prayer since instilling family prayer circles. (This is simply a practice of writing out things you need or want and praying faithfully as scripture encourages.) We want to show our kids that God is a God of details and he loves giving good gifts to his children. From horse camp, to dance camp, opportunities for renewing travel as a family and starting new projects or ventures, God has been in it all. It has been a learning curve along the way of placing boundaries to keep God first and our family healthy. Homeschooling has really allowed us to work around Josh's business hours to stay close as a family.
So, at the end of year one, as we step out from some financial support, we have full confidence in the prayer support! God will continue to lead us. He is our Jehovah-Jireh - the only secure place to rest.
Last fall I relaxed in my hammock enjoying the North Carolina mountains, the crisp air, and the golden leaves. There is something serene about untouched nature. It soothes the mind, It instigates a soul reset. Last week,
I felt it again as I sat on the beach not far from my central Florida home. Relishing in the sound of the rough waves as my skin was misted by the spray, I felt that same inner calm. Again, there is something magical about our world.
Even now, as I swing gently in my hammock under the shade of an epic tree my children climb, the promise of summer fills my heart as the warm breezes rock us. My son is napping in the hammock next to me and I feel at peace.
Why am I reluctant to rest? Why this need to fill the silence? Why is Satan so good at sending distractions? Why do we feel required to do more good stuff? Is it because we know that in the quiet God will find us?
This makes us uncomfortable. When we are quiet enough to listen God whispers things for us to work on. His Spirit cuts through the urgent and shows us the significant. Whether it is a pleasant overwhelm of His love for us or a correction we feel in our spirit, it remains uncomfortable because we like to be in charge of our emotions not humbled. Sometimes it means walking alone in our convictions or changing our priorities. We are not all called to the same life - that would be boring.
Whether this season is slow or busy, productive or not - that doesn't matter. God is calling. Relationships are best when we make time and space for them. My devotion time can easily become scheduled, rushed or dutiful. Jesus reveals himself in many ways; He is not strictly found on Sundays, in scripture or worship lyrics. I recognize His Spirit in my neighbor who always seems to be helping others. The cuddles of my children and the kindness of friends who really listen are all extensions of His love which speaks to me. Simple things can be divine appointments - gentle reminders that He cares about every detail of my life, not just what I can do for Him.
My word for this year is Embrace. I am still learning all the ways in which God means that. Embrace the moment is what first came to mind, but He is showing me it is so much more than that. The hard stuff, the challenge, the unknown. Those are harder to embrace, but they develop character. Jesus doesn't need me to rush around; my list of productivity does not impress Him. My faithfulness will never match His, but what He wants is me.
So my summer challenge is to embrace more:
Breezes in the trees
Laughter in the air
Good books to read
Fun projects to create
Glasses of lemonade with condensation trickling off
BBQ's with friends
And most importantly, to learn to look for Him in it all.
Seeing the world blossom is such a key reminder to appreciate life - it is a gift! I want to embrace the whole journey; the good, the bad, the ugly... and the spectacular! I want to praise Him, pray fierce when I should, sing loud and let the tears of gratitude flow, speak of His faithfulness, replace lies with truth and uplift those nearby through words and actions.
When I feel weak I KNOW God is made great. When I fail I TRUST that it will strengthen my grace and add beauty to the testimony of what God is doing in me. Our testimonies are all unique, but God is in them all. May summer be uncomfortably beautiful!
I have recently returned to a childhood love of mine. Archery! It had been so long that I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it. Back in summer camp I took the elective using a traditional recurve. I enjoyed myself so much that I have kept my scoring chart in my keepsake box all these years later. I loved that in this sport you are mostly competing against yourself.
Now, my husband has introduced me to the world of the compound bow! I'll admit that I was skeptical at first about all the bells and whistles. I still think there is something timeless about the recurve, but the satisfying *thwack* as the arrow hits the target is even more satisfying at higher speeds.
My husband got me a bow in my favorite color as an early Mother's Day gift along with a lesson with his Archery Mentor, Jim Brown. The man is a born teacher and he generously passes on his knowledge to others. (Thanks Jim!) Adding this hobby back into my life has brought an unexpected peace.
Yes, you can fling arrows at the target, but accuracy is greatly enhanced by technique and regular practice. This is true about many things in life. I was surprised to see how these techniques could be paralleled to those in my spiritual life.
Noch an arrow - I like to mentally place a prayer or care as I clip to the string. For me this is a spiritual act of casting my cares before the Lord and takes my practice into a meditative place. When I loose that arrow, my prayers are in God's hands.
Stance - Often times I am in such a rush to draw. I would then end up shuffling my feet into a more comfortable position. Not only does this break the flow, it is dangerous! Planting my feet first ensures that I don't trip and send an arrow launching prematurely.
Draw - Clipping in securely, raising the bow by pushing with one hand and drawing back fully with the other. As my muscles become accustom to the motion it becomes smoother and good posture becomes a habit. I tuck my three fingers for more stability. This also keeps me from gripping the bow and getting struck by the string.
Anchor - Placing my knuckles in a comfortable and consistent spot allows me to see through the peep clearly and be consistent. I remove dangling jewelry and keep a hair-tie or hat for my hair for those windy days.
Breathe - A steady breath or two here keeps me from jumping the gun with a jerky release and allows time for me to tune out my surroundings. Breathing is also a reminder to be in the moment and focus on enjoying life. Shooting outside in nature with fresh air is refreshing!
Pin, Bubble & Squeeze Release - I set the pin on the spot I want, glance at the bubble and adjust if need be and then back at the pin before squeezing my release. I am still working on slowly making a fist rather than punching my release.
HOLD - This is hard! It is easy to want to drop the bow and see if the arrow hit its mark. My husband reminds me that I don't need to see, but that I need to trust my bow. He brought to my attention that I was dropping my bow prematurely. He jokingly threatened to rap me across the shins with an arrow if I did it again. The threat was enough to keep me from doing it again.
Noch an arrow - put on the armor of God
Stance - through prayer we check our relationship with God
Draw - strength is found by pressing into God
Anchor - God's word is our never changing anchor
Breathe - Allowing His presence to bring peace so we can enjoy the moment
Pin-Bubble-Release - Targeting & balancing our priorities so we can succeed
Hold - Trust in Him to make things happen and keep us well aimed.
I'm thankful for the many voices who have patiently advised me over the years on proper technique. Bad habits can be really hard to unlearn, so most recently I am grateful for my husband's coaching. I hear his voice repeating my checklist even when he isn't present. Thankful to do life with a great tribe!
My 2018 word has been confirmed as EMBRACE. This is an addition or a morph of the last two years' themes, Smart Not Harder and Simplify.
Life is made up of seasons. There are periods of planting, growth, pruning and rest. And yes the cycles repeat, but do we Embrace the one we are in?
Our faith is like onion layers, learning who God is and who He created us to be. This overlaps with the seasons, because the urge to do different things at different times may seem completely opposite from the last season.
My current season has my heart filled with whispers of the Spirit reaffirming my identity in Him. I sense something coming, but not sure what it is. It is almost like He is trying to explain a painting to me so I can trust and appreciate the depth and beauty of His work in an even greater way before I lose focus. Cause let's be honest, I lose focus quickly.
I love the tapestry analogy of how God sees the completed side and we only view the mess underneath. His sovereignty allows me some peace despite the unknowns, maybe not always complete peace. I know He holds me because over the years He has been faithful. He hasn't always done as I wished, but He has walked me through.
The world spins faster and faster! Doesn't it make you lose focus? I feel the need to drop what I am doing and either start running or throw out an anchor and dig in my heels to stop completely in defiance of this mass brainwashing. Who can keep up this kind of pace?! Have you ever felt the need to just check out for a day? I have! When everyone seems to be doing and trying everything, I feel like I'm being passed on all sides.
I NEED to embrace the process rather than rush to completion. There is such satisfaction in accomplishment or checking a box complete though! I feel like my mantra to walk humbly with God needs to be tattooed on my forehead so I don't feel like I'm being left behind. I know life is a marathon and that means moving at a snail's pace is still moving. I don't need to exhaust myself or feel ashamed for pacing myself, especially when I would be dragging my kids behind me. The more I see the trend word HUSTLE the more I want to scream PACE!
How much joy people are missing out on in their hustle? How many small miracles are overlooked because we are in such a hurry to get to the big ones? We tell kids to enjoy childhood because life passes in a flash. Maybe we should listen to our own advice; do as I do not as I say. You don't want to get to the end and realize you missed seeing the best parts in your hurry.
My season may look different than yours and thank goodness! We need variety in this world. Not everyone can rest or prune at the same time. I need to be glad that there are ambitious people out there even if I'm not called to be one of them right now. There is no new, best thing that works for everyone, so I just need to be okay with what works for me right now. I want to encourage you to be okay with what God is calling you to, in this season. So, if He is saying hustle, then by all means hustle!
The quieting of my own life has allowed room for God to show Himself to me. Awe is natural when we see huge miracles, but God is doing so much more than we are aware of. I want to embrace these everyday miracles and dwell in gratitude. The fact that the God of the universe TAKES TIME to orchestrate every detail of my life is - WOW! So, I want to be sure to TAKE TIME to thank Him!
God will meet every need and a lot of our wants too; He is a good father! Recently, I prayed for a bag of clothes because I hate to shop. He has done this for me in the past so I had faith that He could do it again. Spending money makes me uncomfortable and I prefer trying things on in the comfort of my own home. I don't like to return things either so online shopping isn't the best place for me. Less than a week later, I had BAGS of clothes from two different people! (Greater than we expect or imagine.) I got a whole new wardrobe 4 FREE! When I was done I had an even bigger bag of clothes I was able to pass on from my own closet to bless another person. I love recycling - Awesome!
He is a God of specifics. He hears those little prayers for a close parking spot because I need to be in and out quick with three kids. He knows my secret wishes for microscopes and globes for our homeschooling adventures which show up on my doorstep. Through friends and family, He sends new bikes for my children, theater tickets, zoo passes and so much more. Today, He even planned a spontaneous opportunity at the beach where we enjoyed learning hands-on physics and aerodynamics from one of the top kite flyers in the world! How cool is that?!
I don't know where you are in life, but I hope you will join me in taking time to embrace whatever season you are in. Need something? Ask. Want something? Ask. God has things to teach us, about Him, and about ourselves, so take time to connect with Him in this moment.
Recently, when I was on a flight I heard that the lady seated beside me had an accent. She opened the window to reveal the de-icing process we were waiting on. She started explaining (very scientifically) what they were de-icing the plane with. She had recognized the smell coming in through the air conditioning vents. Through small talk, she confirmed that she was, in fact, a scientist from Russia. I shared how I had lived in Moscow when I was a child and we swapped a phrase or two in Russian when she asked if I spoke the language. Upon hearing that my parents were missionaries, she asked me bluntly whether I had ever thought about becoming a missionary myself.
This made me pause.
Surprisingly, I can't recall being asked this. I have been asked whether I enjoyed my childhood, whether I liked languages and travel etc, but I can't recall ever being asked if I would want the same vocation as my parents. I answered by explaining that my husband was a Christian counselor and that we loved to travel but we had our mission field right here in our hometown.
Her question started an inner dialogue with God that continues on.
My parents have modeled the ebb and flow of seasons. We did have a season of GOing as missionaries throughout my childhood. They still go on short-term trips here and there as the Spirit leads them. They continue to take us children and now our spouses too because they believe in widening your culture and viewpoint. I am very grateful for this! Now they have a season of being missionaries right here in their own country and community. All throughout their deputation, they shared how everyone is a missionary and how whether your mission field is across the street or the world mattered little. They believe in being a friend before sharing their friend Jesus.
My Bible reading keeps bringing me back to the book of Acts. The community there in the first group of believers was one of doing life together. I feel strongly that we are slowly losing the sense of community that we are meant to live in. Your circle may overlap mine, but maybe for only a season. God has been good in allowing me to reconnect with a person every now and again who was in my circle for a while, but then He called away.
Friends are friends forever if the Lord is the Lord of them! (Michael W. Smith)
To be honest, the idea of going with some organization that has control or requirements gives me pause. I am more comfortable with the concept of tent-making missionaries. I like the freedom to follow the Spirit without feeling the need to explain or get approval before moving. I understand those mission organizations are there to protect how funds are used, so they aren't mismanaged, but I don't want the Spirit of God to be stifled or slowed by dogmatic protocol. Satan loves to use red tape and I would rather remove that option. If I can do God's work with my own funds, then I am free to do it as He requests.
The faith of George Muller is still the most uncomfortable, but attractive to me. I want to watch God move through his people. I love the verse in Matthew - But when you do merciful deeds, don't let. your left hand know what your right hand does, I don't want the vocation of missionary. I just want to watch God move! That is rewarding enough.
So, the answer is...
I am a missionary, just a secret one -
♫ cue the James Bond music ♫
right where God has planted me for this season and so are you!
There is such a negative connotation with the words losing, failing and giving up. When I woke this morning my mind was filled with these three concepts not because I’m depressed and wanting to give up on life, but because I want to retrain my mind.
When I think of the word ‘lose’ I picture a race being lost or searching for a misplaced item. When I think of failing my mind goes to tests and trying new things. Giving up is the phrase often used for defeat, but this isn’t always the case.
If we look at the context, it can all change. Are we focusing on the negative or what comes with it?
Losing your mind is a bad thing, but losing excess weight is a good thing. What about losing ourselves in a good book or another activity we love?
I know God is trying to change the way I view failure and success.
Failure is not the opposite of success. I actually hate the word success because I feel its pursuit can steal the joy of the journey. One person’s view of success can be very different from another’s. Failing forward is progress. Failing shows attempt. And where does contentment fall in the process? Dream big, but don't forget to be thankful for here and now because it is all you have.
Giving up is another one that I laugh at. Giving up sounds so bad until you tack on what you are giving up. Giving up sugar? Wow! Giving up worry? Yes! Giving up control? By surrendering you may actually gain freedom and peace.
Maybe I am just a die-hard optimist, but once again my perspective is my choice. It doesn’t matter how someone else views it. How I choose to perceive and think on a topic can make or break my day, joy and ultimately my life. My responsibility is to keep my heart attentive to the Lord’s direction and enjoy life’s ups and downs.
I am struggling with how things keep changing! Maybe its because I am getting older and I can remember what came before all these advancements. Technology has revved up the speed and expectations of life. Being privy to everyone's day has also upped the comparison factor.
I love getting the newest model or update, but its hard to keep up both money-wise and time-wise. Its harder to feel content when we are bombarded by the message that - New is better!
Newer doesn't mean better necessarily! Marketers are good at pressuring and convincing us that this is true. Their voice is loud but contrary to reality. Reality is that we are often taking one step forward and three backward. A little adjustment can fix one problem and send four others spinning out of control. Why are we in such a hurry to do or accomplish more?
Why change something if it is working? What happened to being content?
Something isn't an improvement just because it is new!
Don't get me wrong. I am thankful for a lot of the advancements that have come in the last two decades or so. It is such a fast paced world! I find myself rebelling. The faster life goes the more I am looking to step out of the race. Life isn't a sprint people! Every year brings new inventions and sometimes that makes life easier, but it also feels like I am trading my peace for productivity.
Do I bow down to a Sovereign God or the god of productivity? What is my motivation?
Now, I find myself asking myself questions. Why are spouses wishing each other a Happy Birthday on social media? Will they not be seeing them in person? Can they not call them? Is this message for their spouse or for the rest of the world? Hey, I don't judge; I find myself copying this ridiculous trend! It's just a thought that runs through my mind...
I cringe when I see someone post their stance on something because I know how many times my stance has changed on a subject once I learned a little more information, love or grace. I feel bad knowing that post is out there for everyone to see FOREVER! How many posts will I regret? Sometimes the language makes me thankful my kids have many more years before I allow them anywhere near a social platform.
Has Facetime and Facebook replaced saying sincere things in person? What happened to the face-to-face? I am grateful to follow friends across the country/state on social media or getting a glimpse into their day-t0-day, but now you can follow anyone and everyone! If I am not careful I won't leave enough time to live my own life. What happens if these advancements take us away from living in the moment to recording the moment?!
Am I feeding a monster? Does sharing a status update or talking live to unknown audiences feel strange to anyone else? Almost feels like I am bragging about my day, kids, time, date etc. How did we get here? How is this normal? Seems like I am forgetting how to have down-time. Do I leave any time for boredom - imagination - to flourish?
So here are some of my questions I consider before posting:
I wish I could always get it right. Almost makes me want to dump social media altogether. There is good, bad and ugly when it comes to these technological advancements. For now, I choose to be more social with my immediate circle, say things in person when I can and be more mindful if and when I post. My whole life does not need to be out there to prove it is happening!
My Current Mantra
Walk humbly with God and do the work at your hands....