Its been a while since I wrote. Can't say I really feel guilty about that. Starting up school, celebrating our tenth anniversary and surviving a hurricane took precedence over writing for awhile. We have all these ideals. The ideal way to start school. The romantic getaway appropriate for a decade of matrimony. What trials we expose our children to. We see what others do and we dream of what we might do, but until you are there and juggle the variables you really have no clue.
I remember pre-children watching people discipline their children and I'll admit - I judged. Until I had my own toddler throw a tantrum in public I had no clue what other variables played into the decisions and reactions of parents. I just assumed I would have the infinite patience and wisdom to be a tough but loving mom. We all have our ideal way we would do something, but what we have to keep in perspective is whether we ourselves are in our ideal state when said situation comes into play. This school year started off with a new board game. It was a flop. I'd like to say the first week was easy with everyone wanting to learn, but homeschool involved typical, cantankerous children just like public school. It takes us a few weeks find our rhythm.
I had this idea of what romantic vacation I wanted to take for our tenth anniversary, but time constraints, sitters, energy and finances did not cooperate. Face time is key....no not on your phone, but shoulder-to-shoulder enjoyment and laughter go way further in marriage sustenance than any perfect trip to the Bahamas. Because we tried that trip to the Bahamas for our fifth. Ha! What those Instagram photos won't show you is the hurricane that changed the course of our ship, the food poisoning that ruins your night of passion, and the inconsiderate wall mates who make too much noise for your to get proper sleep. Smile - this is the trip of a lifetime - snap! This time we got two nights to ourselves in a the city, saw a show, swam and held hands. It wasn't nearly as Instagram glamorous, but I'm so thankful that after a decade we still dream and laugh together.
The real storms blow in and you are watching the weatherman attempt to predict and you realize he is no better off that you were trying to judge a situation from the outside with no idea what the variables really are. All you can do is patiently weigh out the pros and cons of staying or evacuating. The last hurricane was predicated as a direct hit at cat 4 maybe cat 5, so we chose to go. It wasn't fun, but we were safe. This time was all over the place in its predictions, but we chose to stay. We had a night of high winds and nerves were a little jittery, but life resumed the next day.
Thirties have hit hard with three kids, one income, and a mortgage, but my perfectionism still runs strong despite life upping the game. As part of my hurricane prep I borrowed a puzzle. I normally love puzzles; I find them calming. This 2000 monster was making me angry despite a few friends helping her and there. It was mocking me from our only table four days later! I got down to just the sky which was one solid night color....absolutely no shading left. Just endless blue-black. Ugh! My ideal was completion. It would bring satisfaction! I always complete the things I start! I called me mother...
Earlier in the week we had been discussing photo albums. I had helped mom scan them all, but she was having a hard time parting with the physical albums. I told her to have a bonfire and set herself free. She could keep her favorites, but she wasn't required to keep every photo from 6 decades. She has dreams, goals and ambitions! It is hard to do the things you need to when you are carrying around baggage. So essentially I absolved her guilt about needing to hang onto every heirloom. She has all the photos online and can take her time making keepsake books to give away as we have children, but in the meantime travel and live lighter.
This time, she asked me a few questions... "Is the puzzle bringing you joy? (Not anymore!) Will it really bring you a sense of accomplishment? (For a few seconds, maybe minutes.) Are there other things that you would rather be doing? (Yes!) Then break it apart and relish it!" So, I did. I broke apart the pieces and felt very satisfied in choosing NOT TO DO SOMETHING! I didn't finish! I didn't complete that checkbox!
And yes, as a thirty-four year old, I needed my mom to absolve me from completing a puzzle! I will admit it. I call her pretty regularly to absolve me of guilt for lots of things: not being the best wife, the most patient mother, having the cleanest house, or people-pleasing. I just need to hear another sane person tell me I am not crazy for giving up, or being human. I know God absolves me of it all, but sometimes you just need an audible voice.
So, I am back to my mantra with some tweaks -
Walk humbly with God today and do the work at my hands.
But I am learning to ask more questions about the word work...
How important is this work?
Does it really need to be done? ... by me?
What will happen if I don't complete it?
Work sometimes means to create and invest, not just drudgery. So...
What do I feel God is calling me to do today ? - Everyone/everything else can wait!
The time has finally come to slow down, turn inward, and find me again. But, as with everything, there is a pendulum swing and I can take it too far. I start focusing on what I want, need and am entitled to and end up being unhappy, whiny and no one I want to be around. Focusing on what I don't have instead of counting my blessings slowly turns me sour - every time! Instead of balancing life with God's perspective I swing from not caring for myself enough to demanding too much for myself. I am learning (oh so slowly) that I need the Spirit's help to stop the swing from going too far one way or the other on any given day in every area of life. Dynamic tension takes focus and intention!
It is a struggle to retain some healthy boundaries and a sense of identity in this rat race. Keeping who I am with God is vital, because when I start to let my kids, husband, role, passions or job define me I am in trouble. One-on-one my kids can be amazing or moody tyrants and together, mostly they are a cute and noisy circus. My husband is sweet and seemingly perfect one moment and the next I think about hopping on a plane and traveling the world solo. Being a wife can be absolutely maddening, but thank God for those sweet happily ever after moments that keep you hoping to grow old together. Motherhood is fulfilling sometimes and draining others. My passions can seem fulfilling but can place my priorities in jeopardy. One day work is fulfilling and the next I want to quit. My identity needs to be firmly in Christ so I quit returning to life in my own power. When will I learn that I need Him every hour - every moment to get the fullness that I am craving and the sustenance I need?!
Nothing and no one is important enough to allow crowding Him out!
Yes, He created me with strength and ability, but I have yet to learn which battle hill is worth dying on and which ones I should let Him conquer. Just because I can, doesn't mean I should! I am afraid I have been a poor example in strategic warfare to those around me. I have heard His voice in some matters and have been so blessed through obeying His call to drop certain balls so I can do what He is calling me to do better. I took my sweet time getting the message though, and it makes me wonder what I may have missed out on in my delay. I have battled so hard in one area and totally lost sight of others that were way more important! My days always have adequate time when He is in charge. On days I take control I scramble. He is sovereign and that I can rest in. My journey, though bumpy, will be a part of refining me through His grace and for His glory.
Why I am still amazed that on those days when I take my time to invite Him to lead, that things go not perfectly, but way more smoothly? I get, for those type A peeps like me, way more accomplished! My eyes are opened to those special God appointments with my kids, the neighbor or my spouse. How great to feel that high of being a part of God's work! Let's make that happen more! I get peace even in the busyness and confidence in the turbulence. I know it is because I was fortified against the devil and remembering to be in tune with the Spirit that I can do all things through Him. It is not more important to be right, fair, or honest than it is to love. And to love right, you need Him! Simple morning devotions are good by keeping me connected, but now I know there are ways to turn up the juice! So here are a few of my go to Jesus Strategies:
I need pandora blasting worship... like everyday!
I need daily devotions using You version... maybe more than one and with the word being heard!
I need to reach out and pray for my people... keeps me from being too inwardly focused.
I need to ask for honest insight to how I can grow... as iron sharpens iron
I need to speak aloud to my Jesus...yes, He is mine but I will share Him with you
I need childhood praise songs sung in the shower... nothing stirs my heart more - k.i.s.s.
I need to be humble, kneel and shut up so God can stir my heart... posture makes a difference
I need to slow down and trust more... He fights for me so I can just love!
Anyone one of these are great but when I regularly do them all I can understand why Peter got out of that boat. Want to feel the power? Share with me some ways you connect in with the source of all power!
All that other stuff has a season but it will fade and then what will I be left with?
I wish I could say I was one of those moms who prayed constantly for their children, or at least nightly. I like to think that I at least pray regularly. Sometimes I feel my prayers for them have become rote and repetitive. You have all kinds of plans and ideals with the first child, but somehow after the third things start to slip. After a long day, I'll admit, I tuck them into bed and then go fall in mine often without more than a "Night Lord."
Years ago I found a sheet listing ways to pray specifically for your children which even included scripture to back up each point. I have held onto this for years, but rarely got passed the first few sections. It was too wordy and it seemed I was always interupted. Good intentions are all well and good, but carrying around a nice but essentially a useless (for me) paper had to come to an end.
Above, I have recreated the heart of it in combined and shortened prayer topics. I have successfully been able to pray my way through this one - Yay! I am a busy mom so it probably will still not happen daily, but God know my heart and He will grow my prayer warrior skills yet. I have this on the front of my homeschooling binder in hopes of furthering my skills. I will also put the plain pdf below if it would be of use to anyone else.
Motherhood we know is season of long and short. Long days and short years. I am a mother of three; seven, five and a two year old. I see videos of my firstborn as an infant and honestly wonder where the time has gone. Almost in the same moment, I am tracking down the toddler's next mess and wishing for the day when the accidents are no longer so frequent. The two extreme emotions of motherhood - trying to hold onto them and keep them little or hurry them up to independence. Who can decide when they can change in an instant!
Now, knowing there will be no more babies thanks to the hubby taking one for the team, I am finally attempting to find my pre baby self. This season is very demanding and yes, rewarding. I know many wish back the days of when their kids were young and I am sure I will have that fleeting thought as well someday. But my hope is to remind myself, as well as anyone reading, to not wish time forward or backward but be in the moment as best as you can.
The overwhelming amount of home videos, and photos available now can trap you in a place of nostalgia. Looking back on baby photos or other childhood memories either of yours or your children easily bring tears or laughter. I think the occasional trip down memory lane can be healthy, but too much looking back can steal the joy of the moment. Same way too much dreaming of the future can rob you of the joy of today.
Daily, I am trying to find the right balance of devotions, chocolate, coffee, wine, exercise and creativeness that allows me to keep some shadow of sanity and self in this busy season. I understand that by focusing on the long list of things that wear me out... sleepless nights, crying toddlers, whining, tantrums.. I am wishing away this season. When I have this kind of mantra I find myself worn out, bitter about what independence I have lost, and whiney just like them! If I start wishing for an empty nest so I can't travel and do what I want I lose focus on the importance of this season and forget that the next is not even guaranteed. Wish I could say I don't think that way anymore, but that would be a lie.
I am learning to take better care of myself, make wiser decisions and embrace imperfection. I know my body and how many hours of sleep I need. So taking that "me time" at the expense of quality sleep is no longer a wise decision three children into this decade. I have learned to allow the house to be messy and unorganized for certain times and degrees that allow me to keep my sanity. Turn a blind eye for a time, if you will. My children are brought in to help straighten the main areas before dad gets home so he can enter a peaceful place and so mom is not doing all the cleaning up by herself after they are in bed. They also are required to have a clean room for certain privileges to be honored or granted. I have cut back on obligations that split my time.
I have also retained with a desperate grasp a night out each week either with my husband or with girlfriends. If I am lucky I get both! It is hard to keep other obligations from pushing that off the calendar. It is a struggle to leave the husband, my best friend, behind since those days of when it was just the two of us float nostalgically in my mind. It helps to have girlfriends that will remind you that getting out is not a luxury but a necessity when you have a weak moment! I prefer doing new things and so I look for seminars, painting classes, or hiking a new trail with friends rather than the spa or shopping like some women, but you have to find your personal recharge.
I believe life, faith, love and so much more all have a semblance of dynamic tension, so I am very skeptical of anyone who appears to have it all together. Sure we might all have a day or two where we feel like we nailed this parenting thing, but I have yet to meet anyone who has it all together on a regular bases. I know I am a work in progress and God is using my children to teach me great lessons!
So, I would love to hear how other you find your recharge so you can continue to live and thrive in this moment. Let's be real with one another on this journey of motherhood!
They say that timing is everything. Push too early and you 'have to wait even longer'. Too late and you 'miss the window'. Teaching a new skill is tricky. If you allow your child to develop at their own pace you worry that they will never graduate and leave home. If you push them you worry about turning them into narcissistic, type A, perfectionist over achievers with a God complex. Which one of those is worse I will leave you to decide. Oh and who is they?!?
Now what if there was a way we can find that happy medium. I think that is the only way people who have children can survive - hoping to find the balance/ the line between too much and too little. Will you always find it? No, but you keep on trying.
This week I was encouraging my daughter to stick her face in the water. I had been really frustrated with the regression she had made from the previous summer where she was diving under the water in the kiddie pool to this summer not liking any water on her face. We live in Florida and summers here are either inside with AC or by a body of water by necessity. So I am sure you can understand my frustration as she fearfully repeated, "I can't." I started to insist and suggest things and inside my head I started wondering, "Have I been too soft on her? Or should I be harder? Don't want her to regress further because I am a harsh parent who demands their kids try to do things. But I don't want pansy kids who are afraid of everything either! Where is the line of how hard to push?"
Back when our grandparents had children there was less information and advice coming at them. So as a parent then, you were trusting doctors advice or relying on generational example for your 'parenting style'. You either did the same or the exact opposite depending on what home life you had as a child. For most it was probably that twighlight zone of a little of this and definitely not that! So, I start to research how to teach a reluctant child to swim. I love to research! I admit I was confused because her sister is a fish and was swimming early. And now we have an overwhelming limitless amount of information from Grandma, the neighbor, the stranger in line, the pediatrician, the internet, the countless books and I am sure you can rely on opinions from your dearest friend who is a little too comfortable sharing sometimes. From diaper brands, potty training, timeouts, grounding, spanking, sports, education, yelling, silent treatment to cell phones, driving and dating; everyone has a theory on the best way to do it or not do it. I am happy to report that she took my few suggestions and then pretty much convinced herself with a little nudging and encouragement from those gathered at the pool to push herself further. By the end of time at the pool she was jumping in the deep end with her swimmies! I didn't push too hard this time and she was all smiles and even took off her swimmies for a bit to try swimming without mommy holding her belly in the shallow end.
I think we can all agree that we want what's best for our child. I think we can all agree we don't have it all together all the time. I think there are glimpses that something we have said or done to or for our child has worked and in our eagerness and excitement we overshare or advise friends that they should do or try such and such. I think it is important in these moments to remember grace even when you disagree or don't want the implied advice given through 'this little story' of when their kid did such and such. Finding the way to share without pressure or implying judgement is difficult so props to them for trying. Again - GRACE - Use it!
There are methods and theories out the wazoo! Why? I think we all have heard by now that there are different strokes for different folks. Your right way of doing something may be absolutely wrong for me. Even if our children were identical, you and I, aren't. You may be able to have the patience for teaching your child math for instance and it is just better for all involved that I get a tutor for mine. Or maybe I could say the exact same thing as you but your child receives it way better than mine does. A three day potty training method might have worked for your son, but my son, who is yes older that yours, isn't buying into it. You may think my methods of watching my children are way overprotective but maybe I think your are way too lax. You may think I am too soft and am creating 'the problem' in the first place. I may think you are pushing your kid too hard to be a world changer and the pressure is unfair. Again - Grace!
My goal in this whole parenting thing is to do as little damage to my children as possible. I have, yes, accepted the fact that I will damage my children (definitely the oldest trial child) to some degree and probably down to the youngest child(most likely spoiled baby). I think the important thing to remember is that no matter how confident we seem about our method or choice there is always some little part of us that wonders if what worked with the first child will work for the others. So, if we can stay open to hearing others' ideas (yes with a grain of salt) and remain teachable and humble we will be way better examples to our children of how to put up with 'difficult people' or 'judgemental' people.
At the end of the day it comes down to trusting that we are only in charge of doing our best and encouraging our kids to do the same in the best way we know how.
And the rest....
NOT MY CIRCUS NOT MY MONKEYS
The line between too much and too little is lost in the haze,
These are the guys I will keep teaching to the best of my ability and trust that the Lord will use my successes and my mistakes to shape them into the people He wants them to be. May I have grace to make it through rougher stuff than swim lessons. ;)
G R A C E 4 U & 4 ME
The moment has finally arrived!! The last 5+ years I spent working as a technical support specialist for a company that had my heart. Then the Lord started calling my heart home and it took some time to find the right people to train and leave my position responsibly. But I have, after two years of saying I was resigning, - actually done it!
The process leading up to it has been an adjustment in my thinking. I know the importance of mothering well (probably the most important job ever for the future of our world), but letting go of the gratification of projects, deadlines, pursuing my interests, and using my talents is a hard one for my type A personality to adjust to. It feels wrong to replace finite tasks and view-able results with infinite ones that go mostly unnoticed. I know my ego has been hit most. My mind has had to fight off the feeling of guilt (from not bringing in a paycheck, aka feeling like you are 'tangibly helping'), shame (a stay at home mom seems somehow less than, especially in this social media age, because it is mostly invisible), laziness (no deadline, checklists or schedule to keep other than my own) and doubt (analyzing the pros and cons of everything).
I need to stop focusing on the lies of guilt, shame, laziness and doubt and start celebrating my freedom! Let's focus on the good things:
You might be saying, "I work from home or I work and am trying to do all those things too!!" The truth is that I am still a work at home mom. I still have people who require things of me - they are just shorter. ;) I still have lots of task to complete! Seems like more than before some days because I actually can get to some of those seasonal things like cleaning the stove and windows or organizing and de-cluttering. By resigning my job and what SAHM means for me, is having one less ball in the air, less stress, more peace, more time to be in the moment and hopefully enjoy it! For this season I am grateful for less demands on my time and for peace by walking in obedience to what God has called me to do.
No matter what your title, whether you "work" or not, find your freedom.
I pray you find a peaceful moment and not just rush to do the next thing.
*And a thank you to my husband who supports, encourages and loves me and our children well!
Okay, to be real... Tuesday are my "Mondays". My peppiness from the weekend recharge is normally winding down and knowing that my husband won't be home until late steals a bit of my joy. There is nothing like knowing you will have help at the end of a long day of endless questions and requests!
I have three kids under six and I so wish more than one napped! My youngest is one and half and starting to baulk at naps, so my reprieve from hyper-vigilance is fleeting. He is all boy, climbing everything, finding trouble and making messes! I work from home and this has gotten increasingly harder over the last few years due to multiple factors - more children, husband working more, starting homeschool and of course less nap time. Any type of quiet time is hard in our small house since we seem on top of each other. Plus, I turn around and see that my toddler took out every possible toy from his room and brought it to the living room while I was dealing with his sister. Peace on Tuesdays is needed!
Mondays I try to attack the housework so Tuesdays I can be more available for my work, but my energy has been lagging lately. I am grateful that God gave me the phrase "Smarter not Harder" last January and I really was diligent in creating space in my work load by training others. If I had not done that I would be drowning now for sure. This year He has given me the word "Peace" and my mission is to simplify in as many areas as I can, so peace reigns in our home.
When we first moved in ...9 years ago... we painted soothing colors of blues and greens, so I know peaceful decor isn't really what God is getting at,despite the fact that it could use a new coat to freshen things up. I believe he is wanting me to find more peace at home by really being able to enjoy it without my constant mental checklist distracting me. So, I have been utilizing tools to remove the mental checklist into an actual one with prompts so I can just tackle the next thing without taking additional time analyzing what should be next or trying to remember when the last time I changed the filter on the AC unit. (I use my phone's reminders list which allows me to choose repeating tasks with biweekly/weekly/monthly prompts and this has helped immensely.)
I am a type A wanting to be closer to a type B. I want the balance of productivity with the enjoyment of beauty.
And here is the big point - when there isn't a prompt, I want to be in the moment with my children. I want to relish their childhood because I know how quickly you blink and that sweet baby becomes a opinionated child. I am not ready to blink and hand over my car keys to a teenager, so I am trying to be in the moment more which can be exhausting. It is a lot of repetition! I enjoy my children one on one, but when they all start clamoring I feel like my sanity is hanging by a thread. Raising kids is hard and being able to put the world on pause and enjoy a moment is a win! So, on these tedious Tuesdays, to restore peace we:
What do you do to salvage a day - or make it through a long one?
I can always use more ideas -Please and thank you!!!
I strive to start my day with a devotion and prayer before my littles are clamoring for chocolate almond milk, breakfast or Doc McStuffin. Sometimes, depending on how late we sleep, this is easily done and other times not so much. I am fairly intelligent and I know that early rising is the Proverbs 31 model of the perfect mom for a good reason. I am here to state that she can have that title, because I am proudly a night owl.
It is only a "Monday" if we had too many social obligations over the weekend and we 'let the house go'. Otherwise, I find most Mondays easy, when recharged from the weekend. My mind is normally filled with things I wish to accomplish and I try to start tackling them, but the laundry normally stands in my way.
Folding laundry is not my favorite, but I have learned to turn on a show, or a podcast to make it more bearable. My kids are young, so my type A tendencies haven't allowed them to learn to fold yet. They do put their own clothes away, but until I can become more relaxed and not care if things are folded the way I like them - I am on my own with the folding. If I don't distract myself then it is easy to have thoughts start spiraling downward because my time seems wasted on monotonous things.
If I can get through the laundry, homeschooling and fit in a little work at baby's nap time, then I might have time to squeeze in the next chapter or repot a plant ( I dabble in gardening). It is inevitable that someones temper gets sour during the day (mine included), so to reset, we turn on the music and have a dance party.... and yes I tip my blinds so I can do so freely!
I get my best burst of inspiration just as my head hits the pillow... why? Perhaps, because that is the only time my day...err night is quiet!? I know God wired me to be this way, so why fight it? I need a pen and pad near my bed or I will not be able to sleep. I cannot count how many times I have started to doze and been woken with something that God impresses upon me or some fabulous idea I simply must jot down. If you don't it will be fuzzy the next day and that is a sin of lost inspiration. haha
Monday fades into Tuesday and I praise God that in the midst of it all He helps me treasure a moment hear or there, keeps me from losing my cool too many times, orders my day, and through loving friends and family somehow keeps me sane!
Getting any exercise with littles can be difficult, but having it be enjoyable is another matter entirely! Whining can make or break your walk. It is just a fact that kids can bounce off the walls in doors for hours but have no energy to walk around the block moments later. So here are some tips to make walks more enjoyable for everyone involved.
1. Good shoes that don't pinch or cause blisters (think back up shoes too if someone wants to skate!) If you know the shoes they are wearing will give them a blister, just pack some bandaids or back up shoes. A little liquid bandaid works wonders too.
2. Water & Snacks for all! If you are really ambitious you can pack a picnic lunch. I know it seems to take forever to get out of the house, but the extra few minutes to put separate baggies of cherrios or other dried snacks together will be so worth it. If everyone has there own water bottle you are less likely to run out completely.
3. A stroller with storage - a double if you have it! Even though my kids are older I still drag out the double stroller because someone always get too hot or too tired to walk as far as I would like to go. Even if is ends up just carrying the stuff until the kids have enough stamina to make it miles on their own, do yourself a favor and bring it.
4. Avoid anything loud or cumbersome - wagons with plastic wheels, noisy toys, (scooters never last), etc. You know you will be the one who ends up carrying that scooter or the plastic wheels scraping will steal your peace and bring on a headache. No matter how cute - if it is not practical - ditch it! Jackets in summer or objects too big to stick somewhere in the stroller storage also should be left behind, because you know they will be too tired to carry it far.
5. Timing it right - not too hot and no one has to pee! We live in Florida so we have to go early in the morning or in the late evening in summer time. Noon walks last about 5 minutes tops before everyone including you is dripping and whining. If you can choose a walking place that has a bathroom at starting point so much the better. Look for shaded walks in the summer and sunny ones in the winter
6. Picking a new spot, preferably with bathrooms and water fountain nearby! Everyone likes a change of scenery but be sure that with littles there are conveniences around for their sake and yours.
7. Bring a Scavenger List, play a game or bring a camera. Distraction is the best method for young and old alike. There is Geocaching and now Pokemon Go can take that scavenger hunt up to a treasure hunt. They may go farther than you ever thought possible. Now with smart phones having your littles capture pictures of nature along your trail may distract them too. Be sure you have a quality case on it so you avoid tears on your end. There are little tikes cameras if you don't want to share.
8. Go Fast! When my kids were younger we would lock that wheel in place and go fast! Run or skate behind that stroller. Be sure littles are strapped in and give them a fast ride and you a good workout. This gets harder as they outgrow the stroller but you can continue it for a time if you get the older ones to ride or skate too.
9. Bring a book or audiobook. If they bring a book they can read while sitting in the stroller or if you take a break at the half way point with a blanket and picnic lunch. You can listen while you walk if you have a speaker with good battery life.
10. My favorite is to invite friends! My kids always walk farthest when they are laughing with friends. The bonus for me is I get a walk and talk to0 with their friends' mother! The little things don't bother you as much when you have a friend to keep you sane.
The more kids you have the harder it is to organize everyone into getting out and enjoying movement, but it is a great example of taking care of your body and your mind. Time in nature is a restoring process to encourage our littles to enjoy. So do your best to keep on moving!
in the moments of motherhood...
i feel like all i do
is pick up after you
i wipe your tush
and feed you mush
read you books
field dirty looks
i said yes and i said no
grrr, just because i said so
refold your clothes
and wipe your nose
sing you to sleep
soothe when you weep
moments to treasure
new heights to measure
so many highs and lows
insanity that grows
do not dare to blink
it's gone in a wink
hoping you do it right
as you pray every night
each day is a test
we hope for the best
good or bad; happy or sad
my babies i'm glad i had
My Current Mantra
Walk humbly with God and do the work at your hands....