The process leading up to it has been an adjustment in my thinking. I know the importance of mothering well (probably the most important job ever for the future of our world), but letting go of the gratification of projects, deadlines, pursuing my interests, and using my talents is a hard one for my type A personality to adjust to. It feels wrong to replace finite tasks and view-able results with infinite ones that go mostly unnoticed. I know my ego has been hit most. My mind has had to fight off the feeling of guilt (from not bringing in a paycheck, aka feeling like you are 'tangibly helping'), shame (a stay at home mom seems somehow less than, especially in this social media age, because it is mostly invisible), laziness (no deadline, checklists or schedule to keep other than my own) and doubt (analyzing the pros and cons of everything).
I need to stop focusing on the lies of guilt, shame, laziness and doubt and start celebrating my freedom! Let's focus on the good things:
- Freedom to read a book in the middle of the day at nap time instead of doing the dishes.
- Choosing to snuggle in the hammock with my kids rather than fold the laundry.
- Letting the house be messy while the kids are being kids.
- Drinking my coffee first before answering anyone's questions, texts or emails.
- Allowing the kids to watch cartoons so I can have a prayer, devotion or phone conversation.
- Having time to slow down and breath and not just accomplish. (type A reminder)
- Trying to garden and grow things. (I like orchids and trying to grow herbs.)
- Blogging again. (or journaling online as I see it).
- Having more time to pursue my interests. The right to pursue happiness!
- Throwing my creativity into homeschooling rather than work.
- Enjoying having a clean, quiet house for a moment because they kids are asleep.
- Getting a kitten because I am home and have time to enjoy and take care of him now.
No matter what your title, whether you "work" or not, find your freedom.
I pray you find a peaceful moment and not just rush to do the next thing.