I think the most exhausting thing about having kids is that there is no off switch. How many times have u wished for the sliding soundproofed window to slide up in the car? Or to be able to hit pause so your favorite whatever doesn't get broken into bits by that climbing toddler or rough-housing teen? Or a nice sleep button for those newborn infant nights or childhood nightmare evenings?!
This week has been so overwhelming mostly due to interrupted sleep. I love my children, but more than anything, I wish during, the 8 hours of sleep I need to be nice, my mommy alarm wasn't so sensitive. Every time I hear a cough or someone get out of bed to use the bathroom I wake up and then end up tossing and turning to get back to sleep.
My husband has this uncanny ability to only be awoken when it is necessary for his intervention or comfort. When the kids are sick, had a bad nightmare he awakes. If throwup sounds are heard and cleaning is needed, he is there. Somehow he stays asleep through the majority of their nighttime noises. The sad part is I can even hear them over my white noise rain app!
Oh, how I wish we were done with the sleepless stage but I hear for most it never truly passes. If it's not infant cries, it's childhood night terrors, night owl teenagers, and then empty nesters insomnia keeping you awake. So bear with me if I seem a little out of sorts this week. ;) I promise I will return to my normal, rational self once I get a solid 8 hours. Still, wish I had that remote to mute or pause time. I would love to have a rational thought or time to process. For now I will have to dream....errr daydream ;)
My friend Cori and I gathered some moms together for a homeschool chat/playgroup. We hope to do more gathering in the future with moms at parks, for field trips and to encourage each other through the homeschool process.
A sanity recess for moms!
We might eventually and prayerfully turn it into a coop but for now, we are just a moms group. I am excited to see where the Lord leads us but it was very encouraging to share ideas, curriculum, deals and basically remember that we are not alone in this! There is a Flagler Christian homeschool group I may join when the girls are older and we get more serious but for now this smaller group is nice.
We share our findings and ideas in our Facebook group -
Savvy Home Learning.
Ladies, put your face here and claim superhero status!
I have my days where I feel like I am a great mom. I take the time to read books aloud, snuggle, affirm my kid's strengths and hand out healthy snacks. I don't raise my voice but take the time to calmly explain consequences and encourage the proper choice. I answer deep theological questions and make play-dates and library trips while teaching math or delivering explanations on why there are blue skies some days while clouds on others. I do this cheerfully with the utmost patience seemingly up to the 500th why question.
There are even days that I can add taking care of the house and greeting my husband with a kiss and a "How was your day dear?" If I got the proper eight hours, you might even see me strollerblading or jump on the treadmill to take care of myself as well. These are the days I want to post on Facebook because I seemingly have my crap together...that day. It's natural to want to appear as the Supermom, but when I recently got called a Supermom, I wondered if it was a good thing or bad....?
Life is all about balance, right?! Some days you got it and some days you don't. It is important to capture our thoughts and dwell on the positive. We want to be an encouragement to others, maybe being human and transparent would be more helpful. Sure, we want to know there is a silver lining, or an end to the storm(toddler-hood, teenage years), but hearing about the storm itself can be encouraging! Because to ignore the storm and only talk about sunshine seems like a lie!
I feel less alone when I watch another minivan pull through the Dunkin Donuts driveway for that mom to receive her sanity-caffeine jolt. I feel better when I hear a mom threaten to spank her child when the kid is acting rebellious. I feel incredible when I overhear another mother's talk about laundry piling up and dirty dishes in the sink when they are out at the park allowing the kids to play. Why?! Not because I am glad they are having it rough too. Not because I want an excuse to slack off because, by comparison, I am doing pretty good. I am glad to hear it, because I'm tired of feeling guilty and alone!!
There is an awful amount of guilt going around and it seems to start compiling the moment you become pregnant. Guilt over what you eat, or how you exercise (or don't exercise) while pregnant. Where you choose to deliver...with drugs or not. Whether you choose to (or are able to)breastfeed or not. If you choose to vaccinate fully, partially or not at all. When your child becomes sick you blame yourself for their exposure to germs and then debate when/if you should take them to the doctor. Should you use traditional medicines or herbal remedies? Should you allow them processed foods and chicken nuggets? Should you allow dairy, or soda, or candy or pizza? Do you send them to school or homeschool or hire a tutor? Do you allow them to date or lock them in a tower?! The list goes on and on and on...
So, here is my truth: There are days where I get the majority right and feel awesome about my calling to be a mom; I aced the test type days! But this past week I was stormy. Being trapped inside allowed me little respite and therefore my cape got very dirty and at times came completely off! A gentle nudge reminded me on more than one occasion that I didn't have to wait until tomorrow for the sun to come out. I have an inner source I can tap into. The Son is good at restoring capes, tempers, and sunshine. I am learning to stop in the midst of my storm (anger, depression, fatigue) and praise Him for each moment a ray of sunshine pokes through!
I can pray my way from a tropical depression to at least a partly cloudy day. ;)
We can wallow in our imperfections or we can choose to praise God for the moments we got right today and trust Him that tomorrow will be even sunnier with His help. Our capes may not be spotless, but with His help, we can still be a Supermom in their eyes!
My Current Mantra
Walk humbly with God and do the work at your hands....