For the last two years, we have tried several programs to lower our mortgage to what they told us it would be when we bought the house. At first with no children and both us working we could afford the mortgage, but add two kids and me only working part-time from home, and it is a lot tighter.
We were denied the first round after months of resubmitting paperwork. Then in March, we heard of another program so we applied. After several attempts at closing, we finally got a solid date this week. An hour before closing we got the call that we needed additional funds to close, which we did not have. We didn't feel any peace about the situation. We didn't feel right about taking funds from Josh's schooling to pay the closing fee. We were extremely frustrated and angry at the last minute turn of events. Instead of allowing them to pressure us, we went to a friend in real estate to talk about other options. She called to check out the situation and 5 minutes after we would have signed the paperwork, the lenders had a new hud that had just arrived. This hud said they gave us money instead of us coming up with additional funds. Our friend came with us to our closing half hour late and verified the figures and walked us through the signing which brought way more peace! It turned out the lender was a Christian agency. We chatted with her about church and ministry and also talked about her son who was also pursuing his Masters in Counseling. The man who had set up the old paperwork never showed, but having our friend there made us confident with the new paperwork. I know God really blessed us because we did not allow ourselves to panic, be pressured into signing, or be rushed into a decision. Our mortgage is now at a lower fixed rate. It is now about what they told us it would be when we signed for the house 5 years ago. We even have a month reprieve from our mortgage payment. We are so grateful that God walks before us, especially as we prepare for Josh to move into full-time ministry/counseling this Fall.
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I am on day 3 of a juice fast. Plus a raw salad or banana here or there to take the edge off. I agreed to do it for 2 weeks. Had a slight headache in the evening of day one and off-and-on all day of day 2. Today I feel fantastic! Hoping this effects my breastmilk only in the positive. I was thinking I might be losing it before I started this. Seems this little girl wants more than I can give her. I have started giving her solids in the evenings and she is sleeping 8+ hours. Yikes! I am excited to see how I feel at the end of it. My whole family is doing raw and they all look and feel amazing. This is our second time starting a juice fast so we will see if we can finish this one out strong. We are praying for direction, provision, and partners to start a Celebrate Recovery for the Flagler County area. Exciting to have some clear vision, but now to have the steps laid out and actually start down the path is exhilarating. I'm so hoping this ministry explodes and blesses many. Enjoying my girls! Love my husband! God blesses and Life is awesome! Yesterday I received the LeapFrog alphabet system for Dassa-Beanie along with the Word Whammer and the magnetic alphabet. I know it may seem trivial to some, but I had wanted to get this for our daughter for almost a year now.
She knows her letters from playing Starfall, but she has to be on my computer for that. I almost bought this LeapFrog learning kit for her several times but couldn't quite bring myself to spend the money. LeapFrog is great but not cheap! A fellow mom gave hers to me because her kids had outgrown it. I am always amazed at how God cares about every little tiny want as well as providing daily for our big needs. Thank you, God, for showing again how deep your love for me really is. May this journal of miracles help keep that message sunk deep in my forgetful brain. <3 4/15
I received another paycheck for website design. Makes me feel good to bring in some income right before the baby comes :) Thank you, God, for the connections and opportunities you have placed in my lap and for helping me get things accomplished before Keilah is here! You are in the details! Love you! 4/22 I finished the second website setup and brought in another paycheck! Feels so nice to be able to be at home and still bring in a little extra doing stuff I enjoy. I was approached today about working from home for my aunt's company. I am going to pray about it. I will know better how to answer her once I find out how to balance two children. Excited about all the Lord is doing. Josh got his next course and is so close to getting his Masters. I feel we are on the edge of something big. God is moving us into new things! Okay, so my husband has been wanting a gas grill now for over a year. I remember looking at these nice ones with side burners and the works at least 3 times near Father's day last year. We just didn't want to charge it. When our neighbor called Josh over to help unload his newly purchased grill, I felt bad for my husband. I know my green-eyed monster would have been aroused. He asked for Josh's help getting it into their backyard. Then our neighbor calls Josh the next day and offers him his old grill. We were expecting just that - an old gas grill, but that is NOT what we got!! We got a very nice grill with a side burner that had seen only mild wear and still has a lot of life in it!! Josh was dancing a jig. We saw clearly that those who wait on the Lord are indeed blessed!!!! I have to praise God. I feel so overwhelmed by his love towards me. He cares for even the insignificant, nesting prayers of a pregnant woman.
I was praying/searching for a double jogging stroller on Craigslist in preparation for baby sister's arrival. and my brother just called me today wondering if I could use his double stroller. I will give him back the single one he lent me. It will be easier for him to run with just my younger nephew, now that his older brother rides his bike. I didn't even know they had a double stroller! We had been given a regular double which will be great for around stores since the chairs are not side-by-side. We were also given a rear-facing car seat from 5pounds and up. I feel we are so much more prepared and we still have 3 months until she arrives. The swing set and now a jogger. My wish list has dwindled down to a pack-n-play and an ikea chair that bounces. Lord thank you for providing for all our needs and even a lot of our wants! We love you! <3 The Holy Spirit nudged me awake last night with spinning thoughts. I tried to ignore Him and go back to sleep, but it didn't take long to figure out He wasn't going to allow me to sleep until I wrote down what He was putting on my heart.
I had prayed the previous day that the Spirit would reign and help me be more sensitive to His direction. Be careful what you pray for! I didn't think I would get the call in the wee hours of the morning, but I am not complaining...much. I finally stopped arguing with the Spirit and got up. I am grateful, now that I'm awake! Last night, we had discussed purity in life, among many things, at our young adult group and now, God woke me up wanting me to put down my testimony on that topic. I sat at the kitchen table and wrote as he overwhelmed me with love, mercy, redemption, and protection. I was able to get back to sleep after obediently writing. Then this morning, I sat down to read one of Max Lucado's children's books to Dassa-Beanie. Halfway through, I had tears running down my face as God spoke again of His love for me. That inspired me to pick up the Experiencing God book that I had let lie for a few days. I have been rewarded again with feeling the Holy Spirit pointing out areas in my life he was shaping. God often speaks to me through books. I love when God gets my attention in such personal ways. May I continue to be sensitive to His presence and direction! Arriving at the church for the Launch Evaluation we didn't know what to expect. The church was massive! West Ridge has 5000+ people. We didn't know how to feel. You try not to pass judgment on a building or a people but sometimes it is hard not to.
We arrived highly skeptical of a calling, mostly to safeguard our hearts. Josh was waiting for the - no. We weren't sure we were in the right place but as the time went on, with every passing hour, we felt more in the right place. It felt like confirmation that we were doing what the Lord had been preparing for us before time. This wisdom here was priceless. Men and women spoke from all stages of the ministry journey. It seemed each person said something Josh and I had been thinking months prior. It got deeper and deeper as we were asked to speak openly about the desires of our hearts. We were encouraged to really express any doubts and fears. In a way, the renewal was overwhelming. To feel engulfed by God, in a sense. Its the only way I can describe it. I feel like, in that moment, we felt God's true covering or presence. There was no fear or doubt, only peace, and assurance that we had arrived at the perfect time. In the following days, the only struggle was now unpacking all the truth we felt God laying on our hearts. We had a calling, and God would reveal it in time. We decided to go on this trip out of faith. We trusted that if we took steps toward God he would reveal himself as we were obedient. Well, things were tight. Literally 15 minutes before we left I brought in the mail. God gave us a check from our bank because we had overpaid into our escrow account. What?! He gave us more money to cover a hotel, meals and then have some leftover. Confirmation we were doing the right thing or what!?
God SO touched my heart through this trip. It was hard to leave our daughter for so long, but I have come back so refreshed (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). I know it was worth it! Being surrounded with such godly people, all on fire for serving God was so moving! I imagine it will be what heaven is like. I can't explain how encouraged we were by this group of people who volunteered their time to meet with us. Met some other great couples searching for their vision as well. We met others who knew what God was calling them to. They were coming to get equipped. It will be neat to see where God has taken each of them in ten years. Got a taste of heaven in Georgia rubbing elbows with Christians who were fully alive in their faith. Incredible! Launch stressed the importance in priorities and boundaries. They focused on how important the wives are to the ministry. Never heard a organization stress healthy marriage and families as key to any kind of success. Its so true but it has totally not been the focus of ministry in the last generations. I am pleased that our marriage evaluation was flagged. Because we were so in-tune with each other, they thought we had cheated. The guy said he has never seen such scores in 25 years of marriage counseling and wondered if we had taken the test together. We didn't! I know it is all God, but hearing that gave me such peace. If we did go into ministry full-time that we would have a good chance of keeping a healthy marriage and family put to rest one of my fears. We have a good base. Hearing from other pastor's wives, was what I needed to hear. There were all extremes of personality and vision of their personal calling. One awesome lady said, "I am called to remain healthy, so I can bandage my husband's wounds when he comes home and to be the best mama ever." I have such a heart for my children that to hear that I don't have to be running women's ministry/children's ministry (if I don't want to) and I could still be a great pastor's wife was so freeing! When the kids are older I have no doubt I will want to be more involved in ministry, but at this stage, my kids are my heart. After being there for Josh, of course. At the end we had to wait around to drive home with Mike and Holly, so we were surprised when they called us in and gave us our results right then. They affirmed God's calling in our lives which was so encouraging! Hearing other godly people affirm what God had already told us in our hearts was some tasty icing on an already incredible cake! They said that when/if God calls us to build a church they are ready to back us and help us through training. I could see joy shining in my husband's eyes. My own heart was overwhelmed that these people we came to respect so much, would want to partner with us. That in and of itself an honor. So, now we press in and wait for God to make our path clear. I have so much more peace that if I were to be a pastor's wife that God could make me a great one. Looking forward to getting their full report with suggestions for strengthening any weak areas. My favorite saying was "start your day receiving a fullness." Most of the time, I start my day with prayer or scripture but they encouraged to instead start the day accepting from God. Accept His love and allow Him to fill you, so you serve him in overflow instead of your own strength. Makes sense! I needed to hear that! Seems a selfish way to start the day, but He created us to have a relationship with Him! Needless to say, I feel like I have new wind in my sails. I love God and I am so thankful that he has more than the norm for me. Just saying that makes me cry. He gave me this crazy desire to live an adventurous life for him and I will accept no less. Thank you Father for loving me and fulfilling me like no one else can! Going away next week with the hubby to a church planting evaluation/seminar. Excited to hear from God if this might be a new direction for us, but also a little scared that it might be. My parents called saying that they had some money for us and they also will be watching Dassa-Beanie. Now we can afford to go to Georgia and not worry about hotel fees etc as we search out what God has for us! Whatever else will be gifted to agape midwifery towards the birth of our child since we won't be going on any out of country missions trips till after KeiKei is a bit older. We have no clue how God pays all our bills but he always comes thru! He is the ultimate budget balancer!
Praying that the trip is a refreshing one for us. This will be the first time we have been out of state just the two of us since our honeymoon. Hoping it is also spiritually refreshing for us too as we seek God's will for our future in serving Him. We want to be used in whatever capacity but it would be stellar if we had a more concrete direction. I was praying for a friend's marriage the other day and got a text moments later telling me how God had already answered my prayer! Getting a fence this weekend when I thought we wouldn't be able to afford one for quite some time! Thank you, God, for sweet neighbors! I helped design some websites! I haven't had a job since before our daughter was born so I am feeling so stoked! It feels good to be able to help our family in a monetary way. I get to be home with my baby, so no daycare bills. I also get to do something that I love when she is napping. I am so grateful for these opportunities that God has placed in my lap - literally! Such a boost to my self-esteem and a joy to be useful! I am feeling so overwhelmed by God's provision and am so glad I am writing this all down. I know how He always has provided but I hope seeing it written out will help me not take it for granted. My memory is poor and I want to remember every detail about God's goodness in my life! Going on a long-awaited date (voyage of the dawn treader!) tonight with Josh since my parents are gonna come watch Dassa-Beanie. We are so blessed to have supportive family. Halfway through my pregnancy with another healthy baby girl! |
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