Arriving at the church for the Launch Evaluation we didn't know what to expect. The church was massive - West Ridge 5000+ people. We didn't know how to feel. You try not to pass judge meant on a building or a people but you do. We arrived highly skeptical of a calling, I (Josh) was waiting for the "no" wasn't sure I was in the right place but as the days went on with every passing hour I felt I was in the right place, doing what the Lord had been preparing for use before time. This wisdom was priceless men and women from spoke from all stages of the journey, it seemed each person said what meg and I had been thinking months prior. It got deeper and deeper as we were asked to speak openly about the desires of our hearts and really express doubt and fears. In a way renewal was over whelming, to feel engulfed my God in a sense can be the only way I can describe it. I feel like we were in a place for a moment that almost felt like Gods true covering, there was no fear or doubt only peace and assurance that we arrived at the perfect time. In the following moments the only thing that was a struggle was now unpacking all the truth we felt God laying on our hearts.
We decided to go on this trip out of faith that if we took steps toward God he would reveal himself as we are obedient. Well things were tight. Literally 15 minutes before we left I got the mail and God gave us a check from our bank because we had over payed into our escrow account. He gave us money - $450 to cover a hotel and meals and then some leftover. Confirmation we were doing the right thing or what!?
God soooooo touched my heart through this trip. It was hard to leave Dassa for so long, but I have come back so refreshed (physically, emotionally, spiritually) I know it was worth it! Being surrounded with such godly people all on fire for serving God was so moving! - Like what heaven is gonna be like I am sure. I can't explain how encouraged we were by this group of people who volunteered their time to meet with us. Met some other great couples searching for their vision and met others who knew what God was calling them to and were coming to get equipped. I can't wait to see where God has taken each of them in ten years. Got a taste of heaven in Georgia rubbing elbows with Christians who were fully alive in their faith. Incredible! Launch stressed so much the importance in priorities and boundaries, focusing on how important the wives are to the ministry. Never heard a organization stress healthy marriage and families as key to any kind of success. Its so true but it has totally not been the focus of ministry in the last generations.
Am pleased that josh and my marriage evaluation was flagged because we were so in-tune with each other. The guy said he has never seen such scores in 25 years of marriage counseling and wondered if we had taken the test together (we didn't!). I know it is all God, but hearing that gave me such peace that if we did go into ministry full time that we would have a good chance of keeping a healthy marriage and family since we have such a good base.
Hearing from other pastor's wives was what I needed to hear. There were all extremes of personality and vision of their personal calling. One awesome lady said I am called to remain healthy so I can bandage my husband's wounds when he comes home and to be the best mama ever. !! I have such a heart for my children that to hear that i don't have to be running women's ministry/children's ministry (if i don't want to) and I could still be a great pastor's wife was so freeing! When the kids are older I have no doubt being involved in women's ministry will be attractive to me, but at this stage my kids are my heart, after being there for josh. :) At the end we had to wait around to drive home with mike and holly so we were surprised when they called us in and gave us our results right then. They affirmed God's calling in our lives which was just so encouraging! Hearing other godly people affirm what God has already told you in your heart is some tasty icing to an already incredible cake! They said that when/if God calls us to build a church they are ready to back us and help us through training. I could see joy shining in my husbands eyes and my own heart was overwhelmed that these people we came to respect so much would want to partner with us was in and of itself an honor. So, now we press in and wait for God to make our path clear. I have so much more peace that if i am called to be a pastor's wife that God will make me a great one. Looking forward to getting their full report with suggestions for strengthening any weak areas. My favorite saying was " start your day receiving fullness" most of the time I start my day with prayer or scripture but instead to start my day accepting from God his love and allow him to fill me so I serve him in overflow instead of my own strength. Duh! I know but i so needed to hear that....that seemingly selfish way to start the day isn't selfish at all but what God craves...duh again - he created us to love us! So, needless to say i feel like a i have new wind in my sails. I love God and I am so thankful that he has more than the norm for me....just saying that makes me cry* he gave me this crazy desire to live a crazy life for him and I will accept no less. Thank you Father for loving me and fulfilling me like no one else can!
I am feeling so overwhelmed by God's provision and am so glad i am writing this all down, because I know how he always has provided but seeing it written out will help me not take it so for granted. My memory is poor and i want to remember every detail about God's goodness in my life! So....
I brought home two paychecks in the last two weeks!! Haven't had a job since before Dassa was born so I am feeling so stoked! I am helping my family in a monetary way?!! I get to be home with dassa so no daycare bills but I also get to do something that I love when she is napping to bring in money on the side. I am so grateful for these opportunities that God has placed in my lap - literally! Such a boost to my self-esteem and a joy to be useful! Thank you God! :)))
We are leaving for a trip to look into church planting and my parents called saying that they had some money in the ems account that was allocated for us, so now we can afford to go to Georgia and not worry about hotel fees etc as we search out what God has for us! Whatever else will be gifted to agape midwifery towards the birth of our child since we won't be going on any out of country missions trips till after Keilah is a bit older. We have no clue how God pays all our bills but he always comes thru! He is the ultimate budget balancer!
Getting to go away next week with the hubby to a church planting evaluation/seminar. Excited about hearing from God if this might be a new direction for us, but also a little scared that it might be. Praying that the trip is a refreshing one for josh and I as this will be the first time we have been out of state just the two of us since our honeymoon. Hoping it is also spiritually refreshing for us too as we seek God's will for our future in serving him. We want to be used in whatever capacity but it would be stellar if we had a more concrete direction.
We were so impressed with how God blesses us that we wanted to start a journal that we can look back on to count our blessings. We want this journal to be a testament of God's provision and care over our family not only to remind us when things get rough but to also hopefully encourage others!
1/1/11 Took Dassa to the mediquick to find out the she doesn't have croupe as we feared but a slight ear infection. God blessed us by taking the visit which should have been $105 because we do not currently have health insurance down to $84 because it was Hadassah's first visit! Then to top it all off her prescription was going to be $71 but the nice pharmacy lady called and changed the dosage to drop it to $37 AND THEN i came back and she told me they had found a discount card which dropped it to $19.99!! Thank you God for knowing our budget and for providing as you always do!