To be honest, the last year has felt like a rollercoaster. There have been so many emotional ups and downs. Simply crazy. I recently felt at the end of my rope and I came to an important discovery. I am incredibly selfish! Self-centered, and totally stupid! I wondered why I was feeling so all over the board and like a shock it suddenly hit me.... This past year I have been so preoccupied with what I wanted in my future: praying about my future, worrying about my future, wondering why I don't have any major goals or mission in life, and what my ministry or calling was. When were the few and rare moments I felt truly peaceful?! When I said, "God, it is all yours!" But then, like the idiot I am, I took back the worries and start praying for answers. I get so wrapped up in my little selfish world. So here is my findings: I am only happy, joyful, content, and excited about life when I am completely focused on my Lord! NOT THE FUTURE, NOT THE PAST, NOT EVEN THE PRESENT, but simply sitting at Jesus' feet. What is truly the only important thing???? Listen to Jesus when He is with Mary. He tells Martha that Mary has made the better choice. So, my challenge to myself is simply to spend more time sitting with Jesus!
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