So, I was thinking in retro the other day and God showed me where I had been disobedient and made a wrong choice (a big, wrong choice). I was sobered. I started to live in the land of 'what ifs' and was saddened even more. God reminded be of His sovereignty and I was encouraged. He knew the decision I would make ahead of time, He allowed me to make it, and He has used it for His purpose. It came with incredible blessing even though I was sinful. Now, it is my choice whether I stay in the land of 'what ifs' and dwell on what might have been missed. It might have been even greater than I already have.
Or I can choose thankfulness for the fact that He has blessed despite my disobedience! I am humbled and so unworthy of His great love. How big He is to forgive in the midst of my rebellion and even choose to bless me instead of giving the punishment and discipline I so deserved. Thank you for your mercy, God, and for opening my eyes to see more clearly. May I not repeat past mistakes! This is day 12 of my fast. Despite having a small dizzy spell the other day, it has been fairly easy to give up food. I need to make sure I am drinking enough water! Thinking on the past was the first real spiritual eye-opener. I think it helped make my marriage stronger to discuss it with my husband. I am grateful that he is so supportive and walks with me in wanting God's best and God's will first, above all else. Having such an open relationship with my husband where we can talk about anything and everything honestly is no small thing. Thank you, God! 8 pounds lost since the fast started - 8 more till baby weight is off.
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